ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
