Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
