I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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