In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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