morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
