better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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