1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
