whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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