when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
