i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
