question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
