I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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