I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
