Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
