Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
