Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
