i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
