also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
