p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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