She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize