Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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