So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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