You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
