She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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