he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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