You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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