yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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