Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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