party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
zippers are such a cool invention
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
