We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
