i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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