Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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