Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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