you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
