Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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