Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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