i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
