Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
