I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
