I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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