I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you will always have a special place in my vag
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
