I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
she smelled like a LAN party
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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