and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
