Whod you bang
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
