grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
