I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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