guys are not supposed to queef...right?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
