i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I could make wine with my vomit
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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