is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
