yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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