Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I need a beard to bite.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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