so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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