i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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