worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
