i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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