So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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