They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She's the barista slut.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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