I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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