haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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