why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
