I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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