It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
